Thursday, January 7, 2010

Prorogued

School was prorogued today because of the crazy high winds that threatened to blow away my apartment (particularly the plumbing and heating), so I spent my time writing this:

Stephen Harper
Office of the Prime Minister
80 Wellington Street
Ottawa, Ontario
K1A 0A2

cc: Leona Aglukkaq, MP, Nunavut
Linda Duncan, MP, Edmonton-Strathcona

Dear Mr. Harper,

I recently heard that you’re planning to prorogue parliament, effectively taking 5 weeks of paid vacation from the job you and 307 other Members of Parliament were hired to do. What a great idea! I’ve often thought that Canadians deserved more than a measly 2 week minimum. I expect you’ll be extending this vacation time to everyone else in Canada shortly.

This turn of events is especially interesting to me personally, as I recently resigned my job as of January 22, and instead of heading back to work on Monday, January 25th (the same day Parliament was scheduled to resume), I will be moving to Edmonton to be with my partner who took a job there in September. Just as Canadians were anticipating your government’s answers to questions about the pertinent issues of the day (the economy, torture in Afghanistan, climate change commitments, whether you should be taking naked pictures of people at airports, etc.), I was anticipating with excitement looking for work, and the challenge and opportunity that come with a new job and a new chapter in my life.

But you have helped me realize that there is more to life than the daily grind of going to work. People have already started asking me if I’ve found work in Edmonton yet; now I’ll explain that I’m waiting until March so that I can follow your lead and focus on talking to fellow Canadians (probably in caf├ęs and bars), and doing important work on issues like international diplomacy (I’ve booked a trip to Mexico for 11 days in February). Perhaps I too could assist as a citizen by helping out when the world’s eyes are focused on Canada during the Winter Olympics - I’m a recreational curler, so if you could get me tickets to the gold medal games for the men’s and women’s tournaments, it would really help the important work I’m doing for the good of the country.

Of course, right now the big difference between you and me, Mr. Harper, is that you and all your fellow MPs are getting paid your full salary during this period. I’m sure this is merely an oversight on your part that you’ll quickly want to rectify in the interest of fairness. I’ve calculated the a reimbursement of 5 weeks of pay based on my current salary; please see the attached invoice, and forward payment to the Edmonton address below at your earliest convenience.

3 comments:

Fowl Ideas said...

I love annoying elected deities.

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